We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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