we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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