I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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