Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
