They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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