Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
