i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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