if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
