oh god the rape fog is back!
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
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