I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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