she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize