absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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