I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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