VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
