Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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