I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
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