Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
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