marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
