I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize