Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
