talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
where are you?
Hypothermia
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Randomize
