I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
