I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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