note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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