if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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