Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
