I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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