I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
