Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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