Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
