The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
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