Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize