I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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