I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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