I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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