if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
