i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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