Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
