Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
