the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
