Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Randomize
