even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
