just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
