Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
