I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
