I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
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