Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
