john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
