You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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