before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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