yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
