So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
