We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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