You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
