I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
