I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Randomize
